Nina's Story

The first month was difficult. She lost more weight in the first week at home. I couldn’t breastfeed her which was very frustrating to me. If I only knew what was coming, I wouldn’t have felt that bad. She could easily drink from the bottles and after seeing a speech therapist and trying many things, I had to give up and accept breastfeeding wouldn’t happen. I kept remembering the things I heard at our pregnancy classes, how important the mother’s milk is, etc, etc. I even had to answer the question at the supermarket “she is so small, why are you buying artificial milk?”. People can be very mean and invasive! But the important thing was she started to gain weight after 2 weeks and everything seemed fine. She was such a lovely small baby. The second and third months were full of joy. Thomas’ mother and brother came to visit in Brazil, that was a wonderful time with the 2 families together.
When Nina completed 3 months her paediatrician said she should support the head better at this age and advised us to see a neurologist. She always agreed that Nina had an unusual face. Again, total panic. I hated the doctor. How could she say something like that about my precious girl? And It all started again. Before we saw the neurologist I took her to another doctor, a friend of the family, and he was more optimistic. He thought her posture was wrong and it was probably related to her position in the uterus. We blamed my septus for everything, that was the reason she couldn’t drink from my breast and now this.
But he also found something strange. Her fontanella was closed and it was too early for that. It could be that it was ok from the inside, but we should check it with the neurologist since the head needs space to grow. And depending on the case, surgery would be necessary. Only God knows how afraid I was. But again, it turned out everything was fine and after the CScan we were told not to worry about her. The neurologist also added that her cognitive test was great. Some physiotherapy could help her. Ok, lets move to Germany in peace. And at Nina’s 4th month anniversary we came to Hamburg.

It was very hard to say good bye to my sister, nephew and niece, my father and my best friends. It’s never an easy decision. We left a very hot summer and arrived in the end of the winter in Germany. It was so cold… But that was also good to introduce Nina to the other part of her family. We had lots of things to do, specially regarding health insurance and renting an apartment. Luckily the thing with the insurance was quick. Because after 2 weeks Nina was ill. She woke up screaming with colic and some fever. It was Sunday. We tried to give her some medicine and she felt a little better during the day, but it all started again and we took her to the hospital in the evening. I will never forget this place.
A children’s hospital where our niece had been before, it was highly recommended by my brother in law. After some minutes in the ER, the doctor in charge asked if we had been to a geneticist before. Oh God, not again… She thought her ears were too low and we should run some tests in the next days while being in the hospital. Nina would probably stay for a few days, they could not figure out what she had in the beginning but probably some viral infection like many other babies there. Apparently that was some epidemic thing going on. And in 2 days she had not only a gastro enteritis but chest and lungs infection as well. She was so thin and weak, and so quickly. She stopped eating. We were devastated. We didn't see her smile for days.